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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244958">A Portrait of My Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/engrStx/pseuds/engrStx'>engrStx</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>A lot of Filipino references, A lot of UP references, Alumni!Wonwoo, Exes, Find the angst, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Political Undertones, Student!Chan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:06:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,271</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26244958</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/engrStx/pseuds/engrStx</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the Matt Monro song</p><p>Set in the Philippines, Lee Chan got into the University of the Philippines Diliman. Jeon Wonwoo is an alumni. I can't summarize this well so better read it lol</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Lee Chan | Dino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There are tagalog words here okay? hahahaaha</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Wait for me, hyung!” Lee Chan called as he sprinted along Osmeña Avenue, within the confines of the University of the Philippines - Diliman Campus, chasing Soonyoung. He sighs at the exhaustion he currently experiences. He grasps his knees and stoops to catch his breath. To walk along this university for four years or such requires a lot of Leg Days. The tintinnabulation calls upon his senses. He raises his body to gaze at the UP Carillon.</p><p> </p><p>Designed by National Artist Juan Nakpil, it has been perhaps a recognizable landmark alongside the Oblation. Anyone who gets a chance to hear the bells ring a melody cannot help to stop and admire the intricacy of the 36 bells and the haunting tune it produces.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Soonyoung asks him, returning to where he left Chan. A choir was at the foot of the tower practicing along with the Carillon. His world comes to a halt when the sopranos hit the final note. Lee Chan’s soul left his persona to ascend to the pantheon of the deities.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ding!</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lee Chan checked the notification.</p><p> </p><p><strong>SOONYOUNG<em>: </em></strong> <em>https://youtu.be/ok4Jeap3dr8/</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Check the link and memorize it by heart.” Soonyoung wraps his arm on the younger’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, when I was your age, whenever I was confronted with failure, I’d always sing this one and be reminded of to whom I owe my life’s work here.” he shared.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Para sa bayan.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yes. <em>Para sa bayan.</em>” Soonyoung tussled Chan’s hair.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lee Chan’s can never contain his delight after passing the grueling UPCAT (University of the Philippines College Admission Test). To think, out of more than a hundred thousand aspirants, he is one of the three thousand who made it to the flagship campus, <em>the </em>national university.</p><p> </p><p>He can still remember the day that the results are announced.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Chan, Lee</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Diliman</em>
</p><p>
  <em>BS Family Life &amp; Child Development</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His parents were right on entrusting him with his friend Soonyoung.</p><p> </p><p>His detractors said he’ll never make it.</p><p> </p><p>And now, he’s already at the doorsteps of realizing his dream.</p><p> </p><p>Soonyoung is more than glad to give Chan a tour around the campus. Lee Chan lets his eyes roam at the luscious greens giving cover and cool breeze to students and faculty alike, add to that the orange hue of the sun setting.</p><p> </p><p>“I still can’t believe I made it, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“You better believe it now. You are a part of this community now, a Fighting Maroon, more importantly an <em>Isko</em>.”</p><p> </p><p>They continue to stroll along the premises when a centerpiece catches his attention. Lee Chan runs to it. It is a woman in gold, laid on her back side with her arms open and her hair flowing down, levitating in the air.</p><p> </p><p>“This is the University Theater.” Soonyoung introduced. “And that is UPlift.”</p><p> </p><p>“Kinda looks like a female Oblation.” Lee Chan refers to the symbol for UP known to all, sculpted by National Artist Guillermo Tolentino.</p><p> </p><p>“But, she’s not a female counterpart, Chan. She’s more than that. She is a woman welcoming the knowledge and values this university wants to imbue on her. Honor and excellence.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let me take a picture with it, hyung.” he requested.</p><p> </p><p>“But you know how the urban legend goes, never take a photo with Oble or else you won’t graduate on time.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan grabs his phone from his pocket and hands it to Soonyoung. “But she’s not Oble, remember?”</p><p> </p><p>Of course, how he can resist?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo is feeling itchy from the <em>barong </em>he dons along with <em>sablay</em>, the woven cloth sashed along his shoulder down to his side with inscriptions written in <em>Baybayin </em>(a script from pre-historic Philippines). He clutches his <em>sablay</em> and allows his vision to go around, inhaling the crisp air that the trees release. His eye catches on two persons being jovial in front of the sculpture on the University Theater.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Probably freshmen, he thought.</em>
</p><p>He could still reminisce the first day he entered the campus, as a BA Art Studies concentrating in the Interdisciplinary approach. He liked how art can be a medium of enacting political and social change, educating the masses of the moral evils prevalent in society and the institutions that govern us. In simpler terms, he liked social sciences.</p><p> </p><p>As the kid making model poses turns around, their eyes meet. He can see the hope in his eyes, the same hope he had after his alma mater has enriched him well for the nation.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I hope he’ll keep that hope burning once he graduates.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo gave a smile. He then walked towards his car and drove past them. The kid couldn’t stop looking at him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kwon Soonyoung pushes Chan’s shoulder, trying to wake him from a trance-like state.</p><p> </p><p>“What.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why were you looking at him?”</p><p> </p><p>“I…I don’t know. He seemed someone I know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m more than sure you’ll meet him again here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” Chan sounds defeated.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, what’s with the sad tone?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, I’m hungry. Let’s go eat back at the apartment.”</p><p> </p><p>“Already?” the older exclaimed.</p><p> </p><p>“My legs are killing me!” he rants.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll get used to it.” Maybe the survival tips and the commuting tips will be for another time. It’s quarter to seven when he arrives to their village, after chowing with Soonyoung and parting ways. He chooses to walk the few blocks to his apartment. As he steps on the porch, he spots a familiar figure. The black car, the slender figure wearing a white undershirt; it’s Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That why he looks so damn familiar.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Living with him some two houses away from his, the neighbors keep on making rumors about him. The most extreme rumor he encountered involved red-tagging him, something he despises once he heard. The issue isn’t new to the <em>Isko and Iskas </em>who came before him, ever since they protested the tyranny of the Marcos dictatorship in the ‘70s and the First Quarter Storm, being a UP student is associated with being an activist and a member of the Communist Party. Of course, like any <em>Isko and Iska</em>, they shrug it off and keep on making their marks across the globe. UP will never be known if it wasn’t for the critical thinking it teaches; from the pure sciences to humanities and the arts.</p><p> </p><p>He picks up his keys and unlocks the door.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It’s time to clear the rumors once and for all, the thought kept recurring to his walnut.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He throws his stuff on the sofa and locks the door again.</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan sneaks to Wonwoo’s domicile. He slowly opens the gate, hoping it won’t creak. He goes for the back door. With luck, it was unlocked.</p><p>He’s in.</p><p> </p><p>He makes quiet steps as he lurks past the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The man seems alone, he realizes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He walks past the dining area and goes to the faint yellow light that sneaks from one of the rooms; he sees a plethora of paintings and an easel containing an empty canvas.</p><p> </p><p>“Who knew he was this good?”</p><p> </p><p>One thing, he’s appreciative of his neighbor’s works.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, so am I.” Wonwoo replied, banging the intruder’s head with a broom.</p><p> </p><p>The next thing, Chan’s unconscious.</p><p> </p><p>Chan nudges every moment that his neighbor touches his forehead with some foreign object. He begins to comprehend why he feels…tight. He opens his eyes. He’s sitting in a chair, his trunk tied to the backrest around the column serving as foundation for the house. His legs? Also tied to the chair’s legs.</p><p> </p><p>“Be thankful that I didn’t call the police just yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“P…p...please, sir. I am sorry. This won’t happen again, sir; I swear.” Chan stutters, begging for mercy.</p><p> </p><p>“Stop nudging, I’m trying to dress the wound.” he commands, to which Lee Chan accedes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>All Lee Chan could do is look into the face of the person knelt in front of him. The fears in his insides reign but his face exudes stillness. He kept staring at Wonwoo’s face. He is in his casual sleepwear, a white tank top and shorts just a few centimeters above his knees.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>His eyes piercing right through my persona.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, what am I thinking?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>His lips so subtle I want to kiss it for my own.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Oh God, he licks his lips, stop making me insane in the membrane.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>His jawline whenever he looks at the wound he did unto me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>His biceps, his blades, his collarbones.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Why am I so whipped?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Why is there tenderness amidst the coldness he displays?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>What goes on, hypothalamus? Playing games with me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo stands up and pulls another chair. He rotates it so that the backrest is in front of him and sits.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Goddamn, that’s hot.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“What?” Wonwoo inquires.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Did I see you, earlier? At Diliman?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes.” he gulps.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me, why did you break into my house?”</p><p> </p><p>“I…I wanted to know you. I saw you earlier and I thought I could learn a thing or two from you; then I saw you get off from your car. I’ve had no choice since you don’t interact that much with our neighbors so I snuck in. I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“You are of legal age already, Chan. I can sue you for trespassing.” he bluffs.</p><p> </p><p>“You know my name?”</p><p> </p><p>The older was caught off-guard.</p><p> </p><p>“Never mind that, I think you know mine already.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t. I never asked them whenever they talk about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sir Wonwoo, please let me make it up to you. I can’t help but see your art. Let me be your muse.”</p><p> </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo gave thought into Chan’s proposal. <em>My chance.</em></p><p> </p><p>“If you escape, I’ll sue you. Do you agree?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure, hyung.”</p><p>Wonwoo locks the door and unties Chan. Wonwoo pulls a stool and offers it to the younger.</p><p> </p><p>“How old are you, again?”</p><p> </p><p>“Twenty.”</p><p> </p><p>“You seem to like making poses in front of UPlift, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“It was beautiful.”</p><p> </p><p>“Not to be boastful and all, but I helped Ferdie Cacnio with that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, you really mean it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, and I know you won’t mind making poses naked right?”</p><p> </p><p>The request boggles Lee Chan.</p><p> </p><p>Deep inside he wants to escape this pervert but he wants to know him better.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I don’t know what this feeling of curiosity I have right now that I am submitting myself to this artist’s demands.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Yeah…sure; for art’s sake.” Chan sighed.</p><p> </p><p>With timidity in his disposition he begins with his shirt. He drops his shirt to the floor. Lee Chan took off his shoes and socks. He then unzips his shorts and lets it fall down. All that’s left is his boxer briefs.</p><p> </p><p>“Is all of this necessary?” the younger doubts where this is going.</p><p> </p><p>“Like you said, for art’s sake.” Wonwoo reasoned.</p><p> </p><p>He slowly pulls it down by the garter. He sits on the stool Wonwoo offered earlier. He subtly rubs his arms, trying to cover his body out of shyness.</p><p> </p><p>“Now, pose as you please.” the artist requests for his muse.</p><p> </p><p>Chan stands up and lets his right arm hang with his hand slightly touching his hip. He folds his left arm and closes his fist as if he is clutching something. He raises his fist near his face and shifts his head so that it faces the direction of his left hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Marvel on Michelangelo’s muse, Wonwoo-hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Flattery won’t get me, David. Not even in the slightest.” he shrugs and smiles. Lee Chan smiles back.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo picks up the pencil lying atop on the easel and begins drawing. He alternates between observing Chan’s details and making strokes of lines on the canvas. He licks his lips whenever the younger is focused on maintaining his pose. <em>Why am I like this to a kid?</em></p><p> </p><p>
  <em>This is my chance to strike a conversation, Chan thought.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“When did you graduate, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Some three years ago. Art Studies. Which program did you fall into?”</p><p> </p><p>“Family Life &amp; Child Development.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh.”</p><p> </p><p>“What about it?”</p><p> </p><p>“I loved the kiddie pool.”</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Won’t believe that I snuck to swim in the Child Development Center? O-kay.” Sarcasm beats disbelief. Lee Chan giggles, making Wonwoo smile.</p><p> </p><p>“First choice?” Wonwoo continued.</p><p> </p><p>“Creative Writing; Have no talents in Maths.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m no Math wizard either. I loved the arts; let’s just say I have a knack in the aesthetic expression as a way to educate the people.”</p><p> </p><p>“How is UP education, for you?”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo hummed before replying.</p><p> </p><p>“It is liberating if you allow your mind to be liberated. There’s a reason that many brands us as allies of rebels hiding in the mountain ranges.”</p><p> </p><p>“Including you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m not deaf, Chan. I know what they say behind my back. Nonetheless, why they keep on labeling us as opposition?” he continues with the sketch as the banter goes on.</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan ponders on that.</p><p> </p><p>“Because UP education fosters critical thinking. At first, you and I tried our might for the chance of a lifetime, for the prestige of being a UP grad. Soon, you’ll realize that UP will give you the tools to discern truth from false, to finalize and affix your moral compass.” Wonwoo’s rhetoric grasps Chan’s attention, allowing him to process what the older is saying.</p><p> </p><p>“Done.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan is lost in the thoughts Jeon Wonwoo is evoking in him when his attention was called to tell that the quick sketch is finish. He picked his clothes and put it back on, one by one. He quickly glanced at the sketch and my-oh-my.</p><p> </p><p>“Wow, hyung. Just wow, I mean you got the details.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, you really look like David; especially with that…” Wonwoo points at Chan’s member and turns around to fetch something.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that a compliment?”</p><p> </p><p>“Catch.” Jeon Wonwoo threw a can of beer to Lee Chan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here’s your shot in him, Won.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Will hyung say yes?; Chan worried.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Would you mind…”</p><p>“Would you mind…”</p><p> </p><p>“You first, Chan.” he gives way.</p><p> </p><p>“Can you stay at my place for a while? Chan offered.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I was about to ask something similar than that. What’s wrong with me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, no problem.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan leads the way to his apartment. He unlocks the door and flicks the light switch and the air conditioning. Wonwoo took off his slippers and closed the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry if it’s a mess.” he apologizes.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to be that shy, I also went through that phase.”</p><p> </p><p>Chan’s interest could only go up. They made themselves comfortable on the sofa. They open their cans and sip a few.</p><p> </p><p>“Why here in the Philippines? With that mind… ” he points at the taller’s temple. “…you could have got to a top university. What makes UP so alluring to you, Wonwoo hyung?”</p><p> </p><p><em>The million-dollar question. </em>Wonwoo did not expect that question coming from him.</p><p> </p><p>“It will give you a sense of concern for society. In this country, you’ll understand the plights of the marginalized sectors; ones that are the victims of systemic oppression, both political and economic. We may have come from a developed economy but that doesn’t mean we should be apathetic of the developing ones. The world may bask in our technology and culture, but underneath it; many still experience the same conditions Filipinos have.”</p><p> </p><p>“Looks like I don’t deserve to be here, as well.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t say that, you worked your arse off just to make it. That alone speaks volumes. Not everyone who passes the UPCAT is a genius or gifted since birth.”  Wonwoo’s curiosity came strong as he gulps the can’s contents.</p><p> </p><p>Chan fidgets with the can, digesting the words of Jeon Wonwoo which are correct. “I came here because of Soonyoung hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Soonyoung?” he irked.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Did I hear it right? Fate had plans for me, huh.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“You know him, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, not really; just heard about that name.”</p><p> </p><p>“I followed him here back then when I had a big crush on him. Pretty stupid of me, aren’t I?”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo nods and grabs another gulp of San Miguel Pale Pilsen.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s why I worked hard to make it to Diliman. He was firm and eager to help me start new here.”</p><p> </p><p>“Start new?”</p><p> </p><p>“With the trust fund I received years after they…got into a car accident, I used it here to begin a new life.” Lee Chan looks down, squeezes his fist trying to hold the tears back. He turns his back against Jeon Wonwoo. Wonwoo pulls Chan and embraces him from behind. He snugs his head on Chan’s shoulder. Chan holds Wonwoo’s interlocking hands with his. He brushes his cheeks onto the skin of the younger.</p><p> </p><p>“He was my biggest <em>querencia</em> until he found Jihoon. I decided to end with the -unrequited feelings since then.”</p><p> </p><p>“So he did pursue him.” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you say?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry to hear that.” Wonwoo shifted the topic.</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan wipes the tears and faces Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p>“Enough about me.” he cups Wonwoo’s face and looks at him in the eye. “Hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Be honest with me…Did you…make-out in the Sunken Garden?”</p><p> </p><p>Of course. The urban legend about used condoms being a common litter in the campus; rocking trees along the campus connoted intercourse, they all say.</p><p> </p><p>“Out of the blue? Really?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just answer yes or no, it’s that simple.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo plays with the rim of the can, processing the right words for the answer his drinking companion demands.</p><p> </p><p>“I...I didn’t make out…in my entire stay.”</p><p> </p><p>“What? With looks like that?” doubted Chan.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m serious…well, I sensed a few wanted me to go to that direction, but I cannot force myself when they aren’t my type.” He chugs the last of the beer in his can.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The alcohol will now do the talking for Lee Chan.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Would you consider me as your type?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I can’t fucking believe you’re doing this, Wonwoo said to his own mind.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo takes possession of Chan’s face and goes deep with the kiss. The younger cannot resist eliciting a moan, to which Wonwoo could only want more. He seconds the deep kiss with something gentle. Wonwoo pulls away from the kiss; he sticks his forehead on Chan’s.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t know how I’ve waited ever since I saw you here in the village.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan backs off with a surprised look.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung…I thought I was the first to fall for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo is even more surprised. He taps his hips so that Chan would lie down on his hips, and lie down he did. He then plays with Lee Chan’s hair.</p><p> </p><p>“When did it start?” Wonwoo asked.</p><p> </p><p>“It was a Youtube video of you doing a TED talk, back then. Yes, Soonyoung pushed me to pursue this, but you kinda made me want to go beyond. When you moved in, I couldn’t contain myself and I want to talk to you about these things. Why did you think I snuck to your house?” Jeon Wonwoo grinned. Lee Chan couldn’t look at him straight.</p><p>“Now tell me, why me?” its Chan’s turn to listen, lovingly looking up to him.</p><p> </p><p>“Uhm…Ever since I moved in here, I wanted to draw you. You looked so cute. Every day you went outside, I feel like its New York Fashion Week. I want to approach you, but shyness got the best of me. When we met eyes earlier, I can’t stop thinking about you.” Chan smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“What were you doing at the theater earlier, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“I just gave a talk to the freshmen of CAL (College of Arts and Letters.)”</p><p> </p><p>“Ahh.” He sighs, running out of leverage to continue the conversation.</p><p> </p><p>The night looms quiet.</p><p> </p><p>“What now?” Wonwoo inquires.</p><p> </p><p>Chan fights back. He slings his arms on Wonwoo’s nape, approaching him with a peck on Wonwoo’s lips. He then looks into his affectionate eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You have no idea how much I’ve hoped for this day to come.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too, love. Me too.” Wonwoo encircles his arms around Chan.</p><p> </p><p>“Love?” His face is a mix of flutter and shock.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t want my love?” he sulks for a bit, pouting his lips, guilt tripping the younger.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course, hyung. I love you, too.” He hugs back tighter.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo picks up the canister and gives it to Chan. “Here, take it. Consider that as a portrait of my love for you.” He hands over the sketch that he drew earlier in the evening.</p><p> </p><p>“Aww, thank you hyung.” Chan gifted the elder with a kiss on the cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, I also have something for you.” Chan breaks the embrace to stand up. He walks to his room and fetches a seemingly not-so dilapidated journal. He passes this on to Wonwoo. “In here, I scribbled my feelings for you. Some are poems; some are scenarios I imagined of you and me.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, your imagination just transitioned into reality.” he noted as he look at the wall clock. “It’s getting late.” Wonwoo yawned. “You should go, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“You got something to do tomorrow?” he stopped.</p><p> </p><p>“Not really, why?” As if Wonwoo doesn’t know where this will go.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go on a date.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo stops walking to the door and faces him before he leaves.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure thing. Tomorrow morning?”</p><p> </p><p>Chan runs for a last hug of the night. “Tomorrow morning.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo walks back to his home with the journal. He grabs a quick bite with a microwaveable meal for one before he tucks himself cozily in the bed. He goes over Lee Chan’s present for him.</p><p> </p><p>I no longer fear for what’s to come.</p><p>As long as I have you,</p><p>I am safe in your warmth.</p><p>Someday, I will glance at your eyes and tell you,</p><p>I lived well because of you;</p><p>I want to live with you,</p><p>for you.</p><p> </p><p>He proceeds to flip to a random portion of the journal.</p><p> </p><p><em>Flatline</em>.</p><p> </p><p>When I am but a fleeting memory, do not live in anguish.</p><p>Do not weep like the women of Jerusalem.</p><p>Close your eyes.</p><p>I cannot live to see your smile fade because of me.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, be grateful.</p><p>Be grateful for the times we’ve been together.</p><p>Close your eyes, and smile.</p><p>That’s me cherishing you.</p><p> </p><p>I have an eternity to wait.</p><p> </p><p><em>“Macabre much?” </em>He closes the journal and puts it at his bedside table. He turns the lamp off and tries to doze off. How could he sleep when he’s at the zenith of his life with Chan entering his life? For the first time, his face is teeming with sunshines and rainbows.</p><hr/><p>Lee Chan blankly stared at the wall facing the bed. <em>Could all of this be real? What the heck did just happen?</em> He squealed when he plays the memories back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>UP naming mahal, pamantasang hirang (UP beloved, thou Alma Mater dear)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ang tinig namin, sana’y inyong dinggin (For thee united, our joyful voices hear)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Malayong lupain, amin mang marating (Far thou we wander, o’er island yonder)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Di rin magbabago ang damdamin (Loyal thy sons we’ll ever be)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Di rin magbabago ang damdamin (Loyal thy sons we’ll ever be)</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Thanks to the rousing discourse Wonwoo gave him, his heart succumbed to feelings of hope and dedication. Chan now wakes up to the hymn of the University, a call to arms in the battles he will face in the next years, living up to the idealism of an Isko; honor and excellence.</p><p> </p><p>Realizing that he might make his date wait for some time now, he rushes to finish his morning routines. He has to practice minimizing the preparations and account the hell-like traffic. Whilst brushing his teeth and looking at the mirror, he looks to himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Is Wonwoo my boyfriend?” He smiles at the thought of it alone. He dashes to his wardrobe, takes a few hanged clothes and layering the clothes in front of the cabinet mirror; to see which look suits him for today. In the end, his indecisiveness forced him to blindly choose.</p><p> </p><p>Little did he know, Wonwoo is early. He goes to Chan’s gate and tip-toes, peeking to see if he knows that he actually remembers. The click of the door prompts Wonwoo to run to his car parked outside and act cool.</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan locks the gate and runs to Wonwoo standing by the car.</p><p> </p><p>“Took you long enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, the sweat in your forehead says otherwise.” the younger scoffs.</p><p>They both beam in glee.</p><p> </p><p>Chan gazes at Wonwoo. The older wore a white-tee-and-white-long-sleeved-polo-with-words-scribbled-all-over-it combination. He settles for a straight cut denim pants whose knees are slit open and a red high-cut All Stars.</p><p> </p><p>After the dilemma, Chan resolved to something casual with the trendy comma hairstyle. He went for an oversized red and black striped long sleeved shirt. Top that with black boots, black (with hints of red) socks and black shorts, Wonwoo cannot help look at him from top to bottom.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Chan becomes self-conscious.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing. It looks perfect to me.” Wonwoo looks down to hide his face blushing in delight.</p><p> </p><p>“Get in, Chan.” he opens the door for the younger. Chan lets himself in. Wonwoo shuts the door and goes to the driver’s seat. He sticks the key in and starts the car. He notices Chan having trouble with the seatbelt. Wonwoo hovers over Lee Chan, reaching the seatbelt and locking it into place. Lee Chan gapes into Wonwoo’s sparkling eyes for some time.</p><p> </p><p>The younger closed the distance between their lips with a soft brush.</p><p> </p><p>“You look nice too, hyung.” he smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Wa jinjja.” </em>he exclaims in disbelief, smirks as he adjusts the gear and driving off.</p><p> </p><p>“Where would you take me, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmmm…somewhere in my wheelhouse.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is it not the National Museum of Fine Arts?”</p><p> </p><p>“We could go wherever you want, Chan.”</p><p> </p><p>“Whatever makes you happy, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>An hour passed and they finally arrived at the museum. Chan failed to keep his mouth closed when Wonwoo parked in reverse. They get off the vehicle, fixing their get-ups.</p><p> </p><p>“Shall we go, boyfriend?” Chan offered his hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Shit. What did you say, self?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo’s grasp clears Chan’s head. "Yes, boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Finally the label.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Why won’t show me your favorite work?”</p><p> </p><p>Their hearts are doing the waltz at this building that stood the test of world wars. Wonwoo covered Chan’s eyes as they near the room. The room is mostly empty save for the painting and a few chairs at the ends of the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Behold.”</p><p> </p><p>Basking in its glory is perhaps the most well-known Filipino artwork.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Spoliarium (1884)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Juan Luna y Novicio</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The dramatic scene illustrated in canvas puts Chan in awe, dropping his body and sits on the floor; crossing. Wonwoo follows, sitting with his legs stretched out; afterwards draping his right arm on Chan’s shoulder. Chan grabs Jeon Wonwoo’s waist with his left hand.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re really skinny, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p> </p><p>Chan bursts in laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s funny?” the older asked in a serious low-tone voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing. Sorry, hyung.” he warmly pulls Wonwoo a bit closer to him. “So, Mr. Art Studies Cum Laude, tell me about this one. I’m sure you’ve come here from time to time.”</p><p> </p><p>“First off, I’m a Magna Cum Laude. Second, this is a depiction of a Roman circus. If you look carefully, they are stripping the dead gladiators of garments and weapons. The title is the Latin word for the basement where the scene occurs.”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan looks at him with puppy eyes, as Wonwoo gets giddy explaining <em>Spoliarium </em>to him. At this rate, he could identify as a sapiosexual because Wonwoo is <em>that </em>smart.</p><p> </p><p>“The work is grim alright, but what does it mean for you, hyung?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because this was a slap to the Spanish colonizers; Filipinos, who were labeled the inferior and uncivilized, were able to create such magnificent and moving art. This is a tipping point for Jose Rizal, I’m sure you heard of him.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, national hero, author of <em>Noli me Tangere</em> and <em>El Filibusterismo</em>, igniting the Philippine Revolution in 1896 till 1898 when Independence was declared in Kawit.” he nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“This painting drove Rizal’s heart for the Philippines and the rest is history. Because of this painting, Rizal spoke ‘Genius knows no country.’.”</p><p> </p><p>Chan looks back to the painting, leaning his head on Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p>“I want to utilize art to rouse the people to revolt for genuine change, to resist any form of moral evil. How long do we stay subservient to a demeaning authority?”</p><p> </p><p>“I see now how you strived for your <em>sablay.</em>”</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t easy. You know, I was like you during the first years in Diliman; full of passion and hope. There will be times where you’ll lose it. One professor did bring the spark back.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo stands up, and Chan does too. He faces him and takes his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry for making it so much about me.”</p><p> </p><p>Chan brings his finger to stop Wonwoo from talking. “Stop apologizing. If this is who you really are, I love you even more.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo yanks him to a tight cuddle. “Thank you. Not a lot could stand listening to me being this zealous and idealistic.”</p><p> </p><p>“You keep amazing me every time you speak. Don’t you ever stop that flame in your heart, okay?” He presses his palm against where Wonwoo’s heart is.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo’s ears are glowing red. He buries his face on Chan’s hair, pressing a kiss on it; then rubbing the younger’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“Where do you want to go next?” the taller queried.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s go outside first. The air is getting a bit stuffy here; let me think where to go.”</p><p> </p><p>They walk outside with their arms securing each other. They’ve become possessive of each other. To his surprise, Wonwoo spots a group of activists. Whenever he sees a throng, he listens to their pleas.</p><p> </p><p>They are protesting against the grave abuse of power that the government is imposing on the poor. With their placards, banners, and clenched fists; they chant what Wonwoo hopes for societies all around the world. Poor hearing makes Chan get his earphones from his pockets. He inserts one earbud into the taller, the other into his ear. He takes Wonwoo’s hand and pockets them so that it is clenched; a quiet support to the likes of Luna and Rizal who spoke the ills of society.</p><p> </p><p>He presses the play button.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Do You Hear the People Sing?</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Aaron Tveit, Eddie Redmayne, Students, Les Miserables Cast</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Les Miserables: The Motion Picture Soundtrack Deluxe (Deluxe Edition)</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lee Chan raises his fist and swings it accordingly to the beat of the song.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo is touched. <em>So help me God, I want to stay with him for all eternity.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>He follows suit, swinging his fist in solidarity to the people.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you know what the university motto is? Who is?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Honor and excellence.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Honor first before excellence. It’s not excellence and honor; it’s honor and excellence. And what is the fruit of honor and excellence? Is it not competence and integrity? In other words, if you have lived up to your promise and your potential as a university student, you are in a position to be a part of the solution of this country’s problems; not part of the problem.”</p><p> </p><p>“I want her to be my professor, hyung.”</p><p> </p><p>“Trust me when I tell you Mrs. Monsod is scary, but a great educator she is. Keep watching and go drink that before it gets cold.” Chan takes a sip of his Americano and looks back to the video.</p><p> </p><p>“You think cheating is something that is very unusual? It’s very usual in the university and this is what bothers me so much. Because you do not have to cheat; and cheating in the small things is going to lead to cheating in the large things. And all these people that you have contempt for, because they are corrupt, because they are cheating, are people who may have, in fact, been part of the university…And so I want you to pledge to me that up to this, up to now while you are in UP, please do not cheat; because once you cheat, you are now no longer part of the solution anymore. You are going to be very much a part of the problem.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo snatches the other ear bud and snugs it into his ear. He leans on Chan as they both watch the last lecture of Prof. Winnie Monsod.</p><p> </p><p>“So now, we’ve established that you are leaders, we have established that you have excellence, and that you are by God going to help the people, you are going to have honor. So what is the next step?”</p><p> </p><p>“The next step is, of course, seeing to it that what you can do, you are going to do. I don’t know how many of you know this. Do you know this?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I am only one but I am one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot do everything but I can do something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What I can do, I ought to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And by the grace of God, I will do it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“And if all of us ascribed to that mantra, I call that a mantra, then indeed this country is going to take its place sooner, rather than later among the tigers and the developed countries of the world.”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>But it will depend on you.”</em></p><p> </p><p>“I see now why you liked her lecture.”</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t get the chance to have her as my mentor, but watching that, everything we’re working for; it all made perfect sense.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think I know where I want to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Where?”</p><p> </p><p>“Your home.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>“You already tired?”</p><p> </p><p>“No? I…I think I forgot something.”</p><p>“Let’s go home, that’s enough of the metro for us.” And so, Wonwoo and Chan head back to their village. Chan hurries to Wonwoo’s home. He unlocks the door, Chan rushes inside, and Wonwoo closes it for them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I’m not straight and I’m not thinking straight, aren’t I?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>The older takes his long-sleeved polo off. “Chan.” he calls him. He walks to his bedroom with Lee Chan following him, wondering where it all leads into. They stand at the foot of the bed. He takes off his shirt. The younger is still cautious as he rests his right palm on Wonwoo’s chest.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung, what is this?”</p><p> </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo grips the side of Lee Chan’s top and lifts it up. It was clear. He drops it to the floor, his hand takes Chan’s wrists and places the younger’s hand on his chest again. Succeeding this move, Wonwoo’s other hand cups one side of Chan’s face. Lee Chan closes his eyes and brushes his face against Wonwoo’s palm, feeling the warmth that Wonwoo longs.</p><p> </p><p>“Am…am I being too fast?”</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan steps forward without hint of hesitation. He goes right into the lips, pulling the taller to bend his back. Both their hands wander to their button and zippers; a tell-tale sign already. Wonwoo goes on peppering the freshman with barely any experience in delving into these kinds of activities.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re…just fucking irresistable, hyung.” Chan beamed with all the want for Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo is having trouble sleeping in bath robes. Beside him is Lee Chan in his bath robes as well. He cannot fathom what has unfolded in his apartment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Am…am I doing it right?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Stop whining, hyung. Please.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Okay.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>With his arm around Chan, Jeon Wonwoo pulls his boyfriend with the younger’s back against his chest. He kisses his nape, to which Chan moans in delight.</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan wakes and jolts his body upright. He clutches his chest, having trouble breathing.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung…I can’t breathe…C…Call the medic, hyung…”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo’s fatigue fades in times of panic. He calls an ambulance and fortunately, there is one available at this time. He carries Chan out the door and into the stretcher. Outside, someone just dropped his cup of Joe.</p><p> </p><p>“Chan?” Soonyoung called. The ambulance just closed its doors and dashes to the hospital nearest to the village. Soonyoung runs as fast as he can; the worry in his eyes has translated into tears of fear.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Within minutes, they reach the emergency room. Wonwoo holds on tight to Chan’s hand and the stretcher as they make their way. A force by one of the nurses halts his plan to join Lee Chan in the room.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, sir; but you got to stay here.”</p><p> </p><p>“My friend is dying and you expect me to just stay calm here? <em>Fuck.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Sir, we’ll do everything that we can to save him, okay?” The odds were not in  his favor. He sits on the bench, powerless, hoping that everything is going to be fine. He bows his head out of the frustration of waiting, the fear shaking up his life; the rivers in his eyes have flowed again. <em>Will he be fine?</em></p><p> </p><p>“He wants to see you.” A nurse told Wonwoo. He makes his way through the beds and curtains finding Chan. He finds Chan, with a heart monitor by his side. He seemed smiling at him, telling him not to worry.</p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” he demanded candor.</p><p> </p><p>“I…I don’t know, hyung, but I’m fine now, let’s go home.” Chan sounded frail.</p><p> </p><p>“No, you’re not. You’re staying here till we find out what’s wrong with you, understand? Where’s the doctor?”</p><p> </p><p>“He made his rounds. Could you…at least stay with me?” he reaches Wonwoo’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>“I have no plans of leaving here alone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Could you at least sing for me, please?” Jeon Wonwoo cannot deny Lee Chan’s request. He sits on the bed and places his hand on Lee Chan’s hair. Lee Chan insists, taking Wonwoo’s hand and held it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No more talk of darkness</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Forget these wide-eyed fears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m here, nothing can harm you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My words will warm and calm you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let me be your freedom</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let daylight dry your tears.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m here with you, beside you,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To guard you and to guide you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lee Chan musters all his energy to get up and reach Wonwoo’s face, rubbing circles onto the skin. Wonwoo, upon sensing the skin pressed on his cheek, feels the comfort in the younger’s hand. Chan joins him in the duet.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Say you love me every waking moment,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Turn my head with talk of summertime.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Say you need me with you now and always.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Promise me that all you say is true,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s all I ask of you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo looks at the stars in Chan’s eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Let me be your shelter.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let me be your light.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re safe, no one will find you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your fears are far behind you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Lee Chan does the same to Wonwoo.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>All I want is freedom,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>A world with no more night;</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you, always beside me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>To hold me and to hide me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Jeon Wonwoo looks at him with sadness and love, caressing the cheeks of the younger.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Then say you’ll share with me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One love, one lifetime.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Let me lead you from your solitude.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Say you need me with you here, beside you</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Anywhere you go, let me go too.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Lee Chan, that’s all I ask of you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Chan replies with his attempt to erase the sadness.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Say you’ll share with me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>One love, one lifetime.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Say the word and I will follow you.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Share each day with me,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Each night, each morning</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Say you love me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>You know I do - </em>Wonwoo replied.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Love me, that’s all I ask of you.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>And they seal the duet with a kiss. Wonwoo goes in with all the contents of his heart for Chan. Chan, despite the needle injected, did not mind the discomfort and went on with his arms around Wonwoo. The older cradled Chan with his arms as he lay him on the bed, still does not let go of his lips until the last line.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Anywhere you go, let me go too</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Love me, that’s all I ask of you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Lee Chan smiles softly as he closed his eyes. The next moments has rid them of romance as everyone become frantic. Lee Chan is dying.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm sorry :(((</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next thing Wonwoo knew, he was being escorted outside the room. Worry once again took its place. Damn the universe for being left with no choice, for being forced to swallow whatever comes his way.</p><p>
  
</p><p>His drifting mind has been interrupted by a sight he did not expect.</p><p> </p><p>“Soonyoung.” he stood up to acknowledge his presence.</p><p> </p><p>Kwon Soonyoung grabs his robe and pulls him close; threatening him with a raised fist ready to shoot straight into his face.</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck did you do to him? You left me with no trace then all of a sudden you’re coming back for my friend?”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t make this about us, please.” Wonwoo’s trying his best to keep his cool</p><p> </p><p>He goes for an uppercut on Wonwoo’s jaw. “And what, you’re going to do the same to him?”</p><p> </p><p>That’s it. He pushes Soonyoung and punches him. It did sting for someone so slender. He then takes the collar of Soonyoung’s sweater.</p><p> </p><p>“You know why? Because, I’m just your side chick, fuckwit. Don’t play dumb, I know about you and Jihoon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me, Wonwoo. What did you do to him?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nothing, you dipshit. You don’t know anything about Chan?”</p><p> </p><p>“And what do you know? You just met him at Diliman, Won.”</p><p> </p><p>“Chan liked you, Soonyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re kidding.”</p><p> </p><p>He loosens his grip on Soonyoung. “You know I don’t lie. He was head over heels for you, Soonyoung; until he found about you and Jihoon.”</p><p> </p><p>“Who is the guardian for the man in his 20s?” A voice mediated in the heated discussion.</p><p> </p><p>They brush off any trace of quarrel.</p><p> </p><p>“How is Chan, Doc?”</p><p> </p><p>The doctor takes his glasses off. “I…I’m sorry. Did anyone of you know about his condition?”</p><p> </p><p>“Condition?” they both were in the dark on this one.</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Chan went to me a few days ago. I diagnosed him with Coronary Artery Disease, told him to undergo angioplasty as soon as he can. He told me that he cannot afford the operation.”</p><p> </p><p>“How much does it cost? I’ll pay for it, please just save him.” Wonwoo volunteers his all for the love of his life.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry but Lee Chan…he passed away due to cardiac arrest.”</p><p> </p><p>“Doc, you’re a really bad comedian.” said Soonyoung.</p><p> </p><p>The doctor stoops his head in sorrow. “I’m sorry. We did everything we can. It’s already too late.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, I’m sure there’s something. Anything!”  Wonwoo urges in desperation.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry. I have to go. Condolences.” the doctor pats Wonwoo’s back and walks past them.</p><p> </p><p>All the conflict they have, were set aside for the loss of Lee Chan. Both of them sat with empty thoughts, shocked at the thought that Soonyoung’s friend, Wonwoo’s boyfriend, is gone. A nurse calls them. “Come with me to the mortuary.” she called.</p><p> </p><p>The white halls seemed grim to the both of them, they aren’t talking to each other or consoling each other. They’re finally at the door of the morgue. They push the door and the sight is horrendous and heart-wrenching.</p><p> </p><p>They see him. Lying on the cold steel table. Lifeless. Wonwoo lifts the white sheet covering the cadaver. It’s true. Grim Reaper-1, Wonwoo-0, Soonyoung-0</p><p> </p><p>Soonyoung couldn’t look at his long-time buddy. He turned around and covered his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo’s waterworks have been unleashed. He wraps his arms around the cold body of Lee Chan. He carries it into his embrace, wails in anguish. All the bright moments they shared this morning, gone. All the dreams Wonwoo planned for the both of them, gone. He screams Lee Chan’s name, hoping to wake him up, until he has energy no more to speak his name. He settles into his fingers playing with the fringes of Chan’s hair; his eyes dried out of tears he cries no more.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo and Soonyoung are seated on the hall, apart as expected. Do we even have to expect them talking when they’re the only two in the room? Not counting Lee Chan in the urn.</p><p>Jeon Wonwoo walks in front of the urn, decorated with flowers and candles beneath it.</p><p> </p><p>“Who would have thought he’d keep it from us, without any hint at all?” Soonyoung began, standing up, walking towards him to stay beside him.</p><p> </p><p>It struck him. <em>The journal he gave to him. Flatline.</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo took his handkerchief from his pocket and wiped the first tear he had after last night. <em>He knew he wasn’t going to make it.</em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry for all the commotion yesterday. I was at fault. You didn’t deserve someone like me, Won.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t think about it too much, we’re in mid-20s already. Just cherish Jihoon.” he patted Soonyoung’s back.</p><p> </p><p>“Won, would it be fine if I made the arrangements for the columbary?”</p><p> </p><p>“Lee Chan wouldn’t like it if I said no because of what has transpired with us in the past.”</p><p> </p><p>“You did love him, Won. Chan was in good hands.” Soonyoung gazes to the urn.</p><p> </p><p>“I love him that I no longer wallow in sadness. He’d slap some sense to me if I still went on crying about him.”</p><p> </p><p>Soonyoung smiles.</p><p> </p><p>A honk has been heard. It was time for the bestfriends to leave the boyfriend.</p><p> </p><p>“So this is it.”</p><p>“Wonwoo, you carry him to the car.” told Soonyoung.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo will try to ease his heavy heart as he lifts the urn. He supports the base with one hand and hugs the vessel with the other. As he walks down the aisle in the worst scenario, he ruminates on Chan’s words.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>When I am but a fleeting memory, do not live in anguish.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Do not weep like the women of Jerusalem.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Close your eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot live to see your smile fade because of me.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Instead, be grateful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Be grateful for the times we’ve been together.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Close your eyes, and smile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s me cherishing you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>As Soonyoung opens the door, he places Chan and fastens the seatbelt, just like at the village before their date.</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo, thank you; for staying with Chan, for making him feel loved.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo nods in acknowledgement.</p><p> </p><p>“The next time we meet again, we won’t jab each other’s faces, alright?” Soonyoung presents his hand of reconciliation.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure thing, Soonyoung.” Wonwoo accepts the firm handshake. Soonyoung and Chan’s car heads off. Wonwoo is motionless.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Goodbye, Chan.</em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jeon Wonwoo does his nightly preps for his sleep. The last two days has been a ride for him, from finding the love of his life, to being there in his dying breath. Wonwoo’s emotions are in conflict, to which he represses them. He goes to the bed after the skincare routine when he saw the journal. He clasps the sheets that witnessed their love-making; wherein he strips himself of the social construct called “virginity”</p><p> </p><p>He opens it and reads it page by page, stanza by stanza; paragraph by paragraph. Finally, he lets it out. He cannot fight back the pain of losing Chan.</p><p> </p><p>“Why so soon, Chan?”</p><p> </p><p>Tears dropping down on the pages of the journal till he can read it no more; closing it and hugging it tight if it’s the last thing that will make him feel Chan’s tenderness.</p><p> </p><p>Amid the grief, he smiles at the memories they’ve made.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The night is still young.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He stands up and goes to the room where their first encounter happened. He takes an empty canvas and begins painting. Every rub of the brush, he wipes the tears and smile. While his memories of him and Chan are fresh, he won’t stop.</p><p> </p><p>The sun is already on the horizon when he finished the artwork, splats of paint all over in his sleepwear, the portrait of his love; for Lee Chan and Lee Chan only.</p><p> </p><p>He carries it into his room and lets it dry atop the cabinet. He then lies on his bed and goes for a final glimpse of his <em>magnum opus</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I have an eternity to wait, Chan. I love you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“On behalf of the University, I would like to thank our new associate professor, Jeon Wonwoo, for his charitable donation; which will become part of the display here in the Villamor Hall.”</p><p> </p><p>The crowd applauded.</p><p> </p><p>“’We would like to ask our new professor for some few words about his piece.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for your kind words; sadly I didn’t hear it well, could you say it again?”  The audience chuckled. “I was just messing with you, thank you Dean; but most importantly, thank you to this university.”</p><p> </p><p>He begins discussing. “Where did I get inspiration, you’d ask me? When you enter UP, you get another pair of parents. The father figure? None other than Oble himself with the values that he gifts us; our university motto and according to Professor Monsod, honor and excellence begets what? Competence and integrity.”</p><p> </p><p>He continued on. “Now who is the woman placing the <em>sablay </em>on the student? <em>Inang Bayan.</em> Our motherland. Competence and integrity will do no wonders if we won’t give back to the nation. I maybe of Korean origin, but my heart beats for the Filipinos who have welcomed me well and who I joined with to make the government bend to the will of its people. To this, the UP student we know is raised by the inherent values of the university and the fire in our hearts to serve the people. This is the enchanting truth about the education I have experienced, the many before me, and the many to be molded after me. With these two, they’ll lead the way into the light.”</p><p> </p><p>“To end this speech, let me leave you with a mantra; to which I hope you impart onto others.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I am only one but I am one.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I cannot do everything but I can do something.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What I can do, I ought to do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And by the grace of God, I will do it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you and good day.” the audience clapped with admiration for the Filipino by heart professor. Students, faculty, even the administration approached Wonwoo and took a picture with him and his <em>magnum opus</em>, which he titled Enchantment. After almost everyone had left, he was left alone with his work born out of grief and love for Chan.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t you think I would notice the word play, Wonwoo? EnCHANtment.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know you’re the other one that would get the reference.” Wonwoo and Soonyoung hug out after a year.</p><p> </p><p>“What did you do with what I gave you?” queried Soonyoung.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Before Kwon Soonyoung left to lay Chan’s ashes to rest in a columbarium, he took something from his pocket and handed it to Wonwoo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“What is this?” He looked unto the vial filled with particulates.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“You know what it is.” Wonwoo’s fingers went through the metal plaque around the vial.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Lee Chan. Lee Chan’s ashes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“You wouldn’t punch me when I spill the truth?”</p><p> </p><p>“Promise.” He raises his hand as a pledge to not throw a punch to Wonwoo.</p><p>“The remaining of what you gave me is in here.” He drew the necklace from inside his shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“Remaining? Where’s the rest?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s here.” He shifted his glance from Soonyoung to the painting.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean it’s here?” Soonyoung still dumb as <em>shit</em>.</p><p> </p><p>“I…I sprinkled most of it into the paint I used for the painting, thus <em>EnCHANtment.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Wow, I mean, this is a portrait of your love for him. You even used his back profile as the student in the painting.” His hands swinging all over the painting like some conductor.</p><p> </p><p>“He worked hard just to get in because of you, so I’d thank you for giving us an opportunity to meet…and be together…even for a short while. He didn’t get the chance to live like an <em>Isko</em>” Wonwoo pestered the carpet with his feet, looking at it just to avoid eye contact.</p><p> </p><p>“Won, look at me. Please, be honest with me.” Soonyoung changed the topic.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, I texted you where his urn is.”</p><p> </p><p>“My number expired from not being used, sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop lying. Why didn’t you come?”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>No more hiding.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I wanted to. I love him so <em>fucking </em>much, but I couldn’t bring myself to see him when I’m a mess.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh. Why don’t we go, together.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo still cautious, until Soonyoung offered his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Shall we? Chan’s been waiting for you for a year now.”</p><p> </p><p>It’s time to face it. He takes Soonyoung’s hand. Soonyoung pulls him and put his arm on Wonwoo’s shoulder. As much as Soonyoung wishes to get there as soon as they can, they stop for a while, just to hear the haunting tintinnabulation of the UP Carillon. Wonwoo couldn’t help to look at UPlift, the sculpture and silent witness to their eyes meeting. Soonyoung yanks his arm out of the trance of nostalgia.</p><p> </p><p>After an hour of bustling traffic, they made it to the memorial gardens. They opted to ride on their separate vehicles.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you chickened out.”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up.” Wonwoo reacts with a friendly push on his shoulder. They walk past the marble tombstones on the grass. Within minutes, they arrive at their destination. There he saw him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Lee Chan.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Channie, I brought here someone very special. I’ll leave you two to catch-up, okay?” Soonyoung leaves the columbary, giving the couple privacy.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo advanced towards the glass that separates him and Chan. He sticks a bouquet of flowers just the right size so as to not cover the other spaces.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Chan.”</p><p> </p><p>He presses his hand against the glass and tears up. No longer was the liquid a sign of sadness, but of missing him, of regretting that he didn’t follow them here.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry for being so late. I…I couldn’t bring myself to you, just to see me still suffering and missing you. I want you to know that you’re my every waking thought and the last thought before I sleep. You are the reason that I am still here in the living. I…I will live for the both of us. Thank you for being there with me. I hope I’m still there in you, waiting for me”</p><p> </p><p>The winds rustle inside the serene columbarium. Within seconds after finishing his thought, he feels something eerie on his skin; getting the goosebumps at the feeling alone. It is something familiar to him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Like an embrace from behind.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo closes his eyes and carries on talking.</p><p> </p><p>“I know you’re happy already now that you’re with your parents. Chan, love, please take care of Wonwoo hyung for me. Don’t forget your Soonyoung hyung as well. I know and you know; that I love you to the ends of the earth.”</p><p> </p><p>The wind was weird again, tingling at Wonwoo’s ear, as if it wishes to tell him something. And Wonwoo hears it crystal clear.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“I love you too, hyung.”</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, the winds were gone again. All that’s left is his thoughts now fully out to the urn. He kisses the glass one last time before heading off.</p><p> </p><p>“See you again next time Chan.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo wipes away the tears. He is happy.</p><p> </p><p>“Took you long enough.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks for bringing me here. See you another time, Soonyoung.”</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo and Soonyoung part ways. Wonwoo is still smiling from ear to ear. Healing was ensured, because it is Lee Chan. However, healing was abruptly halted.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Everything’s in disarray.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Wonwoo tries to regain his senses and witnesses the horror.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Blood dripping from his car, wrecked by a ten-wheeler.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Am I…?” he looks at his body or his spirit taking form of what once was his physical body.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Wonwoo’s spirit roamed around the vicinity. He saw Soonyoung rushing to the accident, panicking. Good thing a park was just walking distance. He ponders on the suddenness of it all. The only thing that would stop his thinking is the white light radiating behind him. I don’t know if Wonwoo brought his poor eyesight in the afterlife or the light was just blinding.</p><p> </p><p>Wonwoo tries his best to shield his vision of the rays coming at his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>A voice emanated.</p><p> </p><p>A familiar voice approaching him in white, indeed.</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo-hyung!” it called.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The YT links are legit.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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